Is Masturbation a Sin or a Sign
The Guilt Trip of Onanism
Masturbation (or Onanism) is one of those words that it is OK to use in a conversation with a Doctor or Priest but to oneself, friends or partner it is usually called wanking, jerking off or playing with oneself. You can find a longer list of synonyms on Wikisaurus here.
But whatever you call the practice it involves stimulating your genitals up to and including orgasm and homo sapiens has been doing it for thousands and thousands of years. There are even cave paintings showing men doing it and it has appeared as art or graffitti on jars, walls and rocks throughout the ages.
Funny thing about guilt is that nobody can make you feel guilty. Guilt is something we accept. It is a form of self punishment when we decide that we have done something wrong or something to be ashamed of then we feel bad about it.
So the question is “Who told you that masturbation is wrong?”
And the answer to that leads to the next question which is “Why is their opinion better than yours?”
You masturbate because it makes you feel good and does no harm to your body or to anyone else. In fact it is extremely healthy to masturbate as it floods your brain with endorphins and is good for blood pressure and cardiac activity. A study in 2009 also found that it was good for sperm health and motility.
So why ruin it or deprive yourself of pleasure by feeling bad or ashamed afterwards?
Social Intelligence verses Sexual Intelligence
We learn how to behave in public as a result of instructions from parents and teachers and other authority figures as well as being rewarded or praised for behaving properly. We also observe and copy how others behave.
Thus we learn in a broad fashion what is acceptable and what is not.
Sadly we receive little or no teaching with how to deal with our sexual feelings.
Indeed one of the attractions of masturbation is that you cannot get it wrong or disappoint anyone.
You are in complete control and no one knows your pleasure spots or the imminent explosion better than you.
And it is likely that no one “taught” you how to do it.
When someone else touches you, are you brave enough to actually guide or teach them how to give you maximum pleasure?
The higher your sexual intelligence the more confident you are in your ability to express your wishes rather than keeping quiet and suffering in silence……you want them to go faster or to slow down but you are not able to say or explain why in case they stop all together!
If you are in an active sexual relationship then it is likely that your partner will want to give you pleasure as well as receiving it. That is healthy.
So it is very common for masturbation to be mutual. This can involve each person touching the other or each doing it to themselves whilst being observed by the other. Again this is both normal and healthy.
Indeed this form of non penetrative sex may be more acceptable or even more pleasurable to both parties and should be encouraged rather than dismissed as being “dirty” or “depraved”.
Church and State have different views on Masturbation
In 2009, the UK Government joined the Netherlands and other European nations in encouraging teens to masturbate at least daily as part of the campaign to reduce teenage pregnancies and the spread of STD’s.
This is a welcome change to the law as it was in New Haven Connecticut in the 17th Century where “blasphemers, homosexuals and masturbators” ran the risk of the death penalty if found guilty.
In fact different countries (and in the US different States) have always had conflicting views on what activity was legal and what was illegal when it came to masturbation. Nowadays though you are pretty safe anywhere as long as you dont do it in public.
The Church however still struggles with the whole concept of sex and sexuality. You can read the official position of the various religions here and I am not prepared to comment on their views other than to say that whoever your God is he or she loves you and wants you to be happy rather than suffer.
I cannot believe that anyone would be barred from the afterlife simply because they had a wank…….or at least I hope not or I am doomed!
Make up Your Own Mind
If you Google masturbation you will see that there are over 70million pages on the subject. Apart from the fact that this page is unlikely to rank very high it does show that it is a subject that is of great interest to a great many people.
The medical opinion is that it is normal and healthy….at every age.
So it all comes down to what you want to believe….what works for you. I think it is a sign of increased sexual intelligence and perfectly acceptable in private or with those you trust.
Learn More by Reading